Wednesday, July 02, 2008
It's just so easy for me to feel upset these days. With the absence of best friends&the mundane horrible environment in school. It is so easy to feel so helpless, so lost&be on the verge of crying. It was collecting dried leaves and pasting them one by one on that stupid green board, but not bad, i think it looks quite nice considering the low budget. I looked like i was doing CWO carrying the leaves that look like nonsense to the bin. PT today, i'm really out of training, just a few rounds&a few circuits can kill me already. I have no idea how i used to cover so much more distance a few months back. Right, the effect of not moving my lazy ass for one whole month, now i have to suffer twice for not maintaining. I swear i look so deranged after PT&Gen had to tell me how messy my hair was. I got quite a big shock when i saw my ugly red i-am-going-to-die-face in the mirror. Tell me, like that how to go for marathon run! :X
I can't lie to myself how empty i feel, how lost i feel in this school. It's been half a year, to be more accurate, three months plus? No, i don't feel more settled. No, i still can't force myself to like the school. I feel so unhappy. But, who would care? I tried so hard not to compare, try to tell myself that everything happens for a reason. That, i wasn't here by chance. That if i let go and learn to embrace, i would fit in. No, it's still not working. You know how terrible it is trying to be someone else. So far, i haven't really been myself. Like Shermin says, facades.
Bridge with Sab&her clique! :DD Sabrina Kwang loves to attract attention screaming her head off at the cafe, like we're not doing sth illegal. o.O
everything's alright, when you're right here by my side.
It's just so easy for me to feel upset these days. With the absence of best friends&the mundane horrible environment in school. It is so easy to feel so helpless, so lost&be on the verge of crying. It was collecting dried leaves and pasting them one by one on that stupid green board, but not bad, i think it looks quite nice considering the low budget. I looked like i was doing CWO carrying the leaves that look like nonsense to the bin. PT today, i'm really out of training, just a few rounds&a few circuits can kill me already. I have no idea how i used to cover so much more distance a few months back. Right, the effect of not moving my lazy ass for one whole month, now i have to suffer twice for not maintaining. I swear i look so deranged after PT&Gen had to tell me how messy my hair was. I got quite a big shock when i saw my ugly red i-am-going-to-die-face in the mirror. Tell me, like that how to go for marathon run! :X
I can't lie to myself how empty i feel, how lost i feel in this school. It's been half a year, to be more accurate, three months plus? No, i don't feel more settled. No, i still can't force myself to like the school. I feel so unhappy. But, who would care? I tried so hard not to compare, try to tell myself that everything happens for a reason. That, i wasn't here by chance. That if i let go and learn to embrace, i would fit in. No, it's still not working. You know how terrible it is trying to be someone else. So far, i haven't really been myself. Like Shermin says, facades.
Bridge with Sab&her clique! :DD Sabrina Kwang loves to attract attention screaming her head off at the cafe, like we're not doing sth illegal. o.O
everything's alright, when you're right here by my side.