I used to find it so easy to hold on to everyone that mattered to me. Random meet ups, I enjoyed that feeling of catching up with everyone. But now, I don't know anymore. Everyone's too busy and caught up with their own lives, and that's including myself. I would love to be anyone with those who matter than to be everywhere with things that ultimately don't matter to me. But choices, do we really have them? It's so difficult to plan random meetups and have everyone come together. It's not easy to hold on to the past, you've got to move on, move on. So what if you try your hardest, so what if you put in efforts? Maybe you no longer matter to those who matter you, such that they cannot even be bothered to make efforts anymore.

Every single's day a dread. I'm starting to escape in sleep again. I don't know why, but I can't seem to find a purpose in this life I'm leading. Each time I open my eyes, I stare aimless at the ceiling. I drag myself out of the house, to school, to everywhere. I can't even seek solace in books anymore, I don't know why but I can't read anymore.

Recently, I'm finding it harder to smile.

Okay, I'm sorry I know I should stop complaining about my life cos I'm sure I have it much better than a lot out there. I will try to stop myself from wallowing in self pity. Tomorrow will be a better day (: